By Funom Makama
Shyness, as long as it is not extreme is a God-given quality of character. It is a sign of a healthy humility and of a thoughtful intelligence. Often the most happy, useful and interesting people have had natural shyness since youth. "Someone who is sure of himself does not talk all the time. People who stay calm have real insight. After all, even a fool may be thought wise and intelligent if he stays quite and keeps his mouth shut" (Proverbs 17:27-28).
There is no need to have special boy/girl of the opposite sex early in life. Such early infatuations do not pave the way for later happiness. A youth who is "healthy" mentally and spiritually will not crave such immature love affairs. They usually fill the vacuum that should be filled by something better. Lack of education or challenging activities to develop a 'healthy' youth physically, mentally, and spiritually, makes romantic "affairs" seem like the only joy in life. Don't envy your young friends who hop from one acquaintance to another in a series of hot-headed attachments. They have probably been reading exciting love novels or watching imaginative TV shows or movies. Do not envy these misguided youths, because it is possible that their premature infatuations may make it much more difficult for them later to realize real, lasting love. Do not complain because God has made you like He has. Perhaps He has something especially good for you in life. "A clay pot does not ask the man who made it, 'why did you make me like this'?" (Romans 9:20).
On the other hand, it is good for boys and girls to associate together and learn to know each other through normal, useful friendships. When properly directed and supervised, co-education is better than separating boys and girls into separate schools. The sooner we can learn self-control and common sense, the better. Before a young person gets married, he should be enriched by the friendship of many boys and girls in a wholesome relationship. When shyness becomes painful and awkward, the cause is usually extreme self-consciousness. An excellent way to overcome this painful feeling is to find fellowship in the worship of God in a church that is truly devoted to Him. God is our infinite Creator, Redeemer, and heavenly Father. We are always incomplete of ourselves; we need to find ourselves in joyful worship and service to Him.
Some go to Church in order to meet the boys or girls; this is not true worship. It makes the Church into a mere social club, good of itself, but not the proper place of the Church in our lives. Go where God is worshiped sincerely, and take your place in helping the work of God. There, you will find your freedom to be yourself in Christ. "O lord, truly I am Thy servant; I am they servant, and the son of Thine handmaid: Thou has loosen my bonds" (Psalm 116:16). You will find true and lasting friendships among those who worship the Lord truly.
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