Saturday, October 16, 2010

The Major Problems of Bride Price, Especially in the African Society

By Funom Makama


There are arguments in favor of the bride-price tradition; and there are also forceful arguments against it. To be fair, we should listen to both sides:
Arguments for Traditional Dowry

1. It is mostly an African custom (in many parts of the continent). The people expect it. Nevertheless, some parts of the western world still honor this practice.
2. It stabilizes the marriage and prevents the wife running away from her husband (though now quite efficient).
3. Payment of dowry demonstrates that the husband-to-be is capable of caring for and supporting a wife.
4. Payment of dowry makes the wife feel that she is worth 'something' and that her husband considers her valuable; therefore it builds her sense of self-respect. It can be considered a proof of love.
5. Christian missionaries have often supported and encouraged the dowry system as a safeguard to the stability of marriage.
6. The parents of the girl feel repaid for all their expense of caring for her and educating her.
7. Bride Price enables the girl's parents provide similar dowry for their sons to marry wives. Thus the bride price becomes a kind of revolving fund in the family.
8. Payment of the dowry satisfies a deep longing for justice and legality in the eyes of the families involved.
9. In our modern society with marriage breaking down, increased infidelity, pre-marital sex, adultery, and prostitution, the bride price tradition is seen as a factor that links modern African society to the strong moral standards of its pre-colonial past.
10. Perhaps most important of all, dowry is understood to be an evidence that the man is serious about his intentions to make the marriage stable.
11. The Bible tells us that dowry was an essential element of ancient marriage.
Arguments against traditional Dowry

1. It degrades the woman to the status of a commodity being sold and bought.
2. It makes marriage to become primarily an economic relationship in which the choice of a wife depends on one's ability to pay rather than on mutual respect and love between bridegroom and bride. In other words, only a rich suitor is ever able to marry a rich man's daughter; thus the system aggravates rather than heals class distinctions. A young man can demonstrate to the girl's parents his ability to care for her by his intelligence, diligence, and success in making the most of the opportunities he has had in life so far. Such character is true wealth.
3. As bride prices rise higher and higher, haggling and bargaining enter into negotiations. Thus, a hard spirit enters which is destructive to the love and respect that ought to characterize future relationships between the two families.
4. Since the wife's motivations to be faithful and helpful to her husband are affected by the fear of her parents' inability to return the dowry if she fails as a wife, it becomes more difficult for a love-relationship to develop that would make the marriage truly stable. Selfish economic factors do not build genuine love and fidelity.
5. In modern educated society, young people tend more and more to want to marry the one of their own personal choice based on love; the girl's parents can easily thwart this by demanding of a worthy young man a dowry impossibly high for him to manage to pay. Thus, they can force her to marry someone she cannot truly love.
6. The dowry system encouraged hard-hearted but wealthy husbands to treat their wives in any way they wish since they have successfully "paid' for them: the system also encourages the wife to consider herself virtually a slave to such a husband. Her parents cannot encourage her to resist in justice because they fear having to pay back the price paid. Thus the dowry system contributes to the degradation of women.
7. African newspapers contain numerous articles and letters from educated people who declare the system to be a modern counterpart of ancient slavery.
8. With the dowry system, the young married couple must suffer serious privation in their home because so much of the husband's income must go to paying the wife's parents the unpaid portion of the dowry. Those who argue that this long over-hanging debt is good because it keeps the wife submissive are answered by the argument that this problem creates unnecessary tension in the new home. It becomes a continual cause for resentment and bitterness.
9. Opponents of the system point out that it actually encourages divorce, infidelity, and polygamy in that it substitutes for and thus replaces the proper Biblical basis for happy, stable marriage-love and the desire to honor God. The wife's self respect based on dowry paid is reduced to a materialistic basis.
10. The deep need for a foundation of legality and justice in marriage is better satisfied by the public vows of love and fidelity under God, witnessed and approved by family and friends.
11. Although dowry was a stabilizing factor in marriage in the past, the rapid increase of education and urbanization has made it only obsolete, but actually a hindrance to modern marital happiness and stability. it is even blamed as one of the causes of modern prostitution. Young people frustrated and defeated by excessive dowry demands tend to elope and live together without a proper marriage. This only perpetuates immorality.
What can be said for and against these perplexing arguments?

There is no man on Earth as wise as Solomon who can solve these difficulties to everyone's satisfaction. But there is a savior who knows all about our problems, and is "touched with the feeling of our infirmities" (Hebrews 4:15). He knows how to help us, and His word can give guidance.
Modern government and Church leaders are very hesitant to interfere with the dowry system. The reason is, they fear that such a break with the traditions of the past might create a social revolution that could have disastrous results. Although many leaders recognize the evils evident in the modern dowry system, they fear that society in general is not ready for its abolition. The fact is that no system of marriage anywhere around the world will work in today's modern society without Christ! The Lord does not violently uproot traditional customs that are good of themselves; but His spirit of love and common sense utilizes them for the well-being and happiness of all concerned.
In other words, it is not the dowry system itself that is intrinsically evil, but the selfishness of human hearts that administer it wrongly. Does the Bible uphold the tradition of dowry? Let us see what it says:

1. We read of a heathen man who tried to bargain with Jacob for his daughter Dinah to marry his son Shechem:
The soul of my son Schechem longeth for your daugther: I pray you give her to him to wife. Ask me never so much dowry and gift, and I will give according as ye shall say unto me: but give me the damsel [for my son] to wife (Genesis 34:8, 12).
This sounds like Bible support for asking any amount of dowry, however high! But look closer; we find this is not true. Jacob did not ask for a high dowry; in fact, he did not want to give Dinah to this heathen husband at all, no matter how high the dowry offered. Jacob loved Dinah more than any amount of money and wanted only to secure her true happiness within the Lord's plan for His people. (See Deuteronomy 7:1-3; 2 Corinthians 6:14-16).
2. One of Moses' laws said what should be done if a man seduced a girl:

If a man seduces a virgin who is not engaged, he must pay the bride price for her and marry her. But if her father refuses to let him marry her, he must pay the father a sum of money equal to the bride price for virgins (Exodus 22:16, 17).
According to this, it is very clear that there was indeed a bride price system in effect in ancient Israel. However, as we shall see in a moment, it did not operate in a selfish, materialistic way as so often happens today. First, let us look at the other Bible passage that mentions dowry:
3. King Saul, a man who was not at all right with the Lord, had offered his daughter Michal in marriage to David if he would kill one hundred of the Philistines, the national enemy of Israel. Other than this, Saul's servants said to David, "the king desires not any dowry" (1 Samuel 18:24-15). It is clear from this that dowry, or bride-price, was indeed an established custom in Israel. And further, that King Saul was exceedingly selfish in the way he used the Custom! His purpose was to have the Philistines Kill David and so get him out of the way, even though Michal loved David (Verse 20). What a terrible misuse of the dowry tradition! How selfish a bride's father can become! Saul would even kill her bridegroom.
The proper use of the dowry system was to establish the happiness and security of the bride. Parents who loved their daughters and who feared God, did not keep the dowry paid for their daughters but gave it freely to them to be used in building up their new home. We learn this from a story in Genesis:
4. Laban was about as selfish a father as two girls ever had. When Jacob learned to love his daughter Rachael, Laban accepted his offer to work for her seven years, in as much as Jacob had no wealth to pay as a dowry. "And they seemed to him but a few days, for the love he had to her" (Genesis 29:20). But then the wedding night came, Laban and his other daughter Leah conspired to cheat Jacob; and Leah pretended to be Rachael. Poor Jacob had to work another seven years to get the girl he really loved; and he ended up with two wives instead of one! Laban's selfish, cheating character was seen over and over by his children. until finally Jacob and his family felt they had to escape. Leah and Rachael were happy to get away from being anywhere near their father. One of their complaints lets us unto the real secret of how the dowry system ought to have worked. but did not in their case:
Rachael and Leah answered Jacob: There is nothing left for us to inherit from our father. HE treats us like foreigners, HE sold us, and now he has spent all the money he was paid for us. All this wealth which God has taken from our father belongs to us and to our Children" (Genesis 31:14-16). The girls' criticism was just. Their father never showed any real love for his daughters. They said he had "sold" them-the very criticism that many modern, educated young women level against today's dowry system. The trouble was that Laban wanted money more than he wanted happiness for his daughters! Laban should have bestowed on the girls the bride-price received, that they might use it to establish their new home. Instead he selfishly spent it on himself. And thus the Bible condemns such a practice on the part of any father.
The correct practice

In our modern society, all the principles embodied in the dowry system can be fully satisfied in the case of a young couple who wish to follow Christ:

1. The parents of the girl safeguard her interests by making certain that the young man who seeks her and whom she loves in return, is one fully worthy of her. They require him to give evidence of character. diligence, intelligence, and the capability of caring for her and supporting her. Whether this "evidence" is in the form of a material dowry payment of wealth, as cattle or cash, or whether it is the demonstration in his life of such a character, is not important; what is important is that all concerned are satisfied that the young man is ready to be a faithful, loving, dependable, and capable husband to the girl. This is the spirit that underlies the dowry system when properly administered.
2. Further, the parents of the girl have no intention of profiting from their daughter's marriage. The very thought of profiting from such a transaction would be abhorrent to them, almost like being party to prostitution for gain. Their concern is for the daughter's happiness. What Laban received for his daughters should have been given back for their good and that of their children. This is how true parental love should administer the dowry system. Modern young people who feel perplexed and frustrated by the dowry system need to remember that there is a God in heaven who rules and overrules the affairs of men here below (see Daniel 4:17,25,32). His Holy spirit is constantly at work in our environment to lessen the evil and to strengthen the good. This is part of the "good news" that Christ brings. The Lord is more concerned for your happiness and stability in marriage than you are yourself! To believe this is our fundamental human duty. To disbelieve it is to invite Satan's efforts to destroy your true happiness.
Parents can learn to appreciate the needs of their children more than to set their hearts on their own material prosperity. The bride's parents can realize that her own life-long happiness in her marriage will bring them greater joy in the long run than any amount of material enrichment that a high bride-price can bring. If their daughter can marry a worthy young man who reveals a solid character of uprightness and fidelity, she will be happier than if she marries the unworthy son of a millionaire who can give them the highest material dowry imaginable. Her parents fear that they may be unable to satisfy the parents of their son's bride. This can be healed by the same faith in the overruling love of the God of heaven. He is wise enough and big enough to care for that need. also!
Without exception, a happy, stable marriage is based on love and fidelity. Let no one be afraid that God's eternal principles will not work in today's modern society. God is not caught napping, nor is He archaic and out of step with our modern needs.
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How Can We Cope With Sexual Temptations?

By Funom Makama



Alluring, enticing temptations assault us on every hand. Millions of people feel the pressure of these sexual allurements. Many consider that they are temptations too strong to say "No!" to, like the undercurrent that sweeps one down the rapids of the Zambezi River toward the resistless plunge over Victoria Falls. If one were to swim with all his might, he could not resist being swept over the rocks!

But destruction awaits us below, sure and certain. Are we helpless victims? Many think so, for they have given up, and worship sex as a god or a goddess as surely as did the ancient Greeks and Romans. When you are tempted to sexual immorality of any kind, read Paul's beautiful letter to the Ephesians. It seems written especially to meet this problem! The inspired apostle gives just the help we need. He speaks of "the ways of this world" in which all of us lived at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts." But "you must no longer live as the Gentiles do," he says. "Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more." "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person-such a man is an idolater-has any inheritance in the Kingdom of Christ and of God, because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient" (Ephesians 2:2, 3; 4:17-19; 5:3-6).

Could the 'wrath' he speaks of the venereal disease, including Herpes? Perhaps; for sure we know that sexual immorality often brings disease, as well as eventual futility and loneliness. Almost always, those who take what God has not yet given them, unlawful sex, end up with no sex, living barren, empty, lonely lives. But does the inspired apostle merely tell us what not to do, like laying down an impossible law for us? Or does he show us how to resist such temptations? Does he have "good news" for us or only good advice? Good advice alone is helpless against these temptations. Read the letter in its entirety and you will see that he has something tremendous to put in your life in place of illicit sex. In fact, what he brings us is a new obsession that more than fills the vacuum of our empty, lonely lives; it actually has the power to drive out the evil thoughts and imaginings and sexual lusts that have seemed so overmastering. That "something' is the love of Christ revealed at the cross, the stupendous love revealed for you as a lonely individual. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith," he says (Ephesians 2:8). You have an infinite, eternal inheritance; you are "chosen" in Him "before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight," and in Him you have "forgiveness of sins". That love of Christ is the real thing, of which sexual love is only a faint reflection.

The message of the Cross is God's solution to all sex problems. Sex is good in its place, within marriage and husbands are to "love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her" (Ephesians 5:25). The greater love enriches the lesser, and expels the unworthy, because on the Cross Christ revealed a love that is not selfish. Your savior loves you more than you may have thought! Note this excellent "good news":

The grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope- the glorious appearing of our great God and savior, Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for Himself a people that are His own, eager to do what is good. (Titus 2:11-14).

Is that word "No!" a difficult word to say? "The grace of God" will teach you how to say it! None of the Enemy's most alluring temptations can stand up against that word which "grace" teaches us to say. After all, 1st Corinthians 1:13; encourages us that "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, bt with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it". And how does "the grace of God" succeed in teaching us backward mortals such a marvelous skill? By providing the dual motivation of an appreciation of how Christ "gave Himself for us", and the delightful anticipation of letting Him "purify for Himself a people" ready to honor Him at His glorious appearing". It works! A living and powerful savior rescues you from that swift river that would sweep you to destruction.

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Can A Person Stay Single And Be Happy?

By Funom Makama



If a modern girl can get what she wants, it will be education and freedom. She doesn't want to stay forever a few steps behind the boys. Some reports tell that there really are not enough men to go round for all the women. Men die in war, through labor hazards, and as everyone knows, many drift off to the big cities seeking work, and seldom come home again. Too many husbands or potential husbands can disappear due to alcoholism, vagrancy, or crime. Some are content never to marry, just employing prostitutes.

All these factors, plus others add up to make a problem: Some people don't have much hope of getting married or staying married. And there are always some who never seem to find the right partner. The question arises which is very important to many: could it be possible that it is God's plan for some not to get married at all? If so, could such an unmarried life be happy and useful?

There are several important things to look at:
1. From the beginning, marriage has been God's normal plan for us all. "It is not good for the man to be alone," the Lord said (Genesis 2:18). The New Testament upholds marriage, saying it "is honorable in all" (Hebrews 13:4). The apostles were married men. For clergy to remain unmarried is never a Bible command. "Let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband," says Paul (1 Corinthians 7:2).

2. The Bible also recognizes the truth that for some people and under some circumstances, being unmarried is better and is perfectly proper. Luke tells of "a prophetess, Anna the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was a very old woman, who had lived seven years with her husband after she was first married, and then alone as a widow to the age of eighty-four. She never left the temple, but worshiped day and night, fasting and praying" (Luke 2:36-37). Was all this in vain? No, she was privileged to recognize the Baby Christ when Mary and Joseph brought Him to the temple. Today the whole world honors Anna as a wonderful servant of God. She was in the right place at the right time, in order to bear an important witness to many people. No one can say that she lived in vain. (It seems that many married people do live their lives in vain, just serving themselves only).

The apostle Paul at one time must have been married, because Acts 26:10 implies that he was a member of the Jewish Council which required its members to be married men. Marriage was the right Jewish way of life, and Paul could hardly have gone contrary to it before he became a Christian. But when he chose to follow Christ. it appears that his wife and family deserted him (compare Philippians 3:8). He never remarried, and he says, "I say to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I" (1 Corinthians 7:8). This advice was not given to contradict what he himself had said in verse 2, "Let every man have his own wife, and every woman her own husband". He was speaking of special circumstances which made it best for some not to marry. God Himself would show people whether to marry or not: "Every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that" (Verse 7).

The times when Paul and the Corinthians lived were very critical. Their "World" was falling apart. The Roman Empire was declining, security was disappearing. Crime was increasing. Soon persecution would come on those who followed Christ. Everything was to be shaken. Even Jerusalem and the Old Jewish Temple were to be destroyed and the Jews scattered (Matthew 24:1-8). Most important of all, the gospel of Jesus was to be proclaimed in all the world, and this great work demanded complete devotion of all who believed. It was these special circumstances that led Paul to say:

On the question of celibacy [staying unmarried], I have no instructions from the Lord, but I give my judgments as one who by God's mercy is fit to be trusted. It is my opinion, then, that in a time of stress like the present this is the best way for a man to live-it is best for a man to be as he is. Are you bound in marriage? DO not seek a dissolution. Has your marriage been dissolved? Do not seek a wife. If, however, you do marry, there is nothing wrong in it; and if a virgin marries, she has done no wrong. But those who marry will have pain and grief in this bodily life, and my aim is to spare you. What I mean, my friends is this. this time we live in will not last long. The whole frame of this world is passing away. I want you to be free from anxious care (1 Corinthians 7:25-31).

Paul is careful to tell them that if someone really wants to get married, he is free to do so (verses 8,9,35,36). It is much better to get married than to 'burn' with vain desires. This counsel is good, common sense. What it boils down to is that the Lord plans a different kind of happiness for different people. Some find real happiness, like Anna, in building up the work of the Lord while they remain single (verse 34,35).

3. Are our times today special as those of Paul?
Yes, in many ways. Our world is indeed falling apart. Millions, yes, billions, have lost their way, Population is also increasing much faster than well-intentioned governments are able to plan food for the hungry people. It is sad but absolutely true that most of the little children being born into today's world are doomed to lives of grinding poverty, many to actual starvation. In 1972, the Club of Rome (The Limits to Growth) predicted mass starvation, political chaos, and general catastrophe by the middle of the 21st century. By A.D 2000, world population will be nearly six billion. Time reports that "starvation will claim increasing numbers of babies born in less developed countries, and many of the survivors will grow up physically and mentally stunted" (August 4, 1980). Well, We have now passed the year 2000 and this prediction is really not far from what is practically happening now.

Although, some fortunate few will be poorer even than they are now. Those who depend on wood for their fuel in the third world countries- well, no one knows what they will do soon. Even drinking water is to become scarce. Increasing pollution from the use of fossil fuels and heavy industry may make life almost unbearable for most people. If this isn't "the present distress", what could more accurately fit Paul's words (1 Corinthians 7:26)? And yet, the old "traditional" idea that is driving billions into ever deeper poverty is, "marry and have all the children you can." What's so great about adding to the world's burden of suffering and pain? (Here's some good news: Many unmarried women are now satisfying their natural desire for a baby by adopting Orphans and rearing them. They are happy instead of creating new ones!).

4. Because God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son", He is helping.
He impresses the hearts of some people to love suffering people more than they want marriage. They live like Anna and Paul, for helping others. They may not procreate more babies to add to the world's starving people, but they will help to feed the babies that are already here. They will have different kind of "children", like Timothy was to Paul, 'my own son in the faith" (1 Timothy 1:2). Their "children" will be the born-again kind, who found their Savior through such "begetting". Paul found one such as a runaway slave in Rome, "Onesimus, whom I have begotten in my bonds" (Philemon 10). Already there are many such unmarried men and women happily serving the cause of God, lifting heavy burdens, letting the oppressed go free, and their "children" will forever thank them for their ministry.

A very wrong statement made by some magazine wrote
"Christian parents ought to teach that it is God's will for many people not to marry, and that God has many things to be done in the world that are best done by single people. We should not try to persuade those who do marry to bear children.

The decision on what to do is yours, not somebody else's to make for you. The Bible gives freedom to marry or not to marry. But don't make the mistake of being driven into a miserable, unhappy marriage just because "tradition" unwisely says that it is the only way to live. Staying single might be the happiest life for you.

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Venereal Diseases - Are They Punishments From God?

By Funom Makama



We could answer easily by saying "yes" except for the fact God does not want to see people suffer, and does not arbitrarily punish them. In fact, disease and suffering are not the punishment for sin: "The wages of sin is death" (Romans 6:23), even "the second death" (Revelation 20:14).

The true answer to this question is that venereal diseases are the natural result of sexual promiscuity. A healthy husband and wife can live together all their lives, enjoying sex with each other for many decades, and not get a venereal disease. This is because Venereal diseases are a rife among many immoral people, a kind of natural curse. Have a glimpse about venereal diseases.

The term STD (Sexually transmitted Disease) covers a wide field: not only is the notorious Human Immunodeficient virus (HIV) and gonoccocal infection included but also such infections as syphilis, chancroid, herpes simplex, lice, granuloma inguinale Lymphogranuloma venereal and more important non-specific urethritis. Despite the very remarkable advances that have taken place in the medical field. the prevalence and incidence of sexually transmitted diseases has increased steadily.

The man with a sexually transmitted disease is generally miserable and becomes antisocial. He becomes unreliable both to his wife and doctor because he is ashamed of himself. He becomes a liar to his wife and starts coming home very late claiming to be drunk. in case his wife should ask him for sex. To the woman, STD's especially gonorrhoea and non-specific urethritis, leave a permanent scar. The fallopian tubes get blocked and this can lead to sterility and permanent misery.

Here is a letter written to a well-known newspaper columnist, from a broken-hearted husband:
Dear.... I will never be able to make amends to my wife for what I did to her, but if you choose my letter for your column it might keep someone else from making the same mistake. I'm an average 33-year old man, married for six years. We have one child. One night I went out alone and picked up a nice-looking girl in a bar. Believe me, she looked and acted as nice as any girl I had ever met. She was immaculate and ladylike. That girl gave me gonorrhoea. I, in turn infected my wife with such a severe case that, at 30, she had to have a complete hysterectomy. Now, she'll never be able to have another child and she wanted one so much. The doctor had to tell her the truth and it nearly broke her heart because she had never looked at another man and knew it had to be my fault. She says she's forgiven me, but I don't think I can ever forgive myself. I went out on my wife only once and, God forgive me, it was the most foolish thing I've ever done. (Hating myself).

A noted psychiatrist once described a strange case of syphilis that developed into general paresis (syphilis of the brain). The patient was a real estate lawyer who suddenly appalled his family with behavior very unlike him. While he was at university, twenty years before, he had slipped once into a mistake-he had slept with a prostitute. He had noticed a sore (Chancre) afterwards but it soon disappeared. Soon he married a girl he loved, opened a law firm, had three children, became a deacon in his church and was highly respected in his community. Suddenly, when he was 45, he began to have strange symptoms, behavior that shocked his community. He tried to steal some fishing equipment; he lost interest in his wife and children, began consorting with loose women, made unwise business investments, lost his clients' money as well as his own. He became so confused that he couldn't remember what time it was. Grandiose delusions and silly childish behavior followed. He was mentally ill. The psychiatrist ordered blood tests, and syphilis of the brain was diagnosed by a positive Wasserman blood reaction.

The world press has carried frequent reports that a famous, unpredictable dictator actually suffered from syphilis of the brain. Surely his behavior was very similar to that of the patient above. What a tragedy that so many innocent people had to suffer! Was the "curse" of STD the real cause? Most press companies and health magazines report that a 'new sexual leprosy" is infecting millions with disease- and with despair. "Herpes" is a "virus of love," says the news magazine, that is resisting conventional medical treatment. "Millions, when they seek medical help, will often be given incorrect information or false hopes for cures. Most will suffer shame, guilt and even depression, and a few will become suicidal over what they feel is the 'new leprosy'.

Doctors warn that the risk of cervical cancer (in women) increases with the number of sexual partners. Dr Maureen Henderson of the University of Washington once said that numerous studies have linked it to promiscuous sex. "The greater the exposure, the greater the likelihood" of developing this disease."

Judgments from God?
God loves us (John 3:16). But if we transgress His law given us for our own good, we expose ourselves to the consequences of disaster, a known magazine quotes a 47-year-old man who got "Herpes" from a prostitute in Asia: "I regard myself as a carrier of an invisible, incurable disease. I have a guilt trip that won't quit". "Adultery is a trap-it catches those with whom the Lord is angry" (proverbs 22:14). This does not mean that the Lord hates the one who has transgressed. He still loves the sinner. But sin separates us from the intercession of Christ. We cut ourselves off from the protection that Christ as High priest gives to those who believe in Him and are "in Him". This allows Satan to have access to us, in order to destroy us.

Thus, the mysterious venereal diseases are a visible evidence we can understand Satan's inner, hidden activity. The Lord permits these physical evidences of spiritual diseases that are always the sure result of fornication and adultery. If we look at it in this light, even venereal diseases therefore can be a means to lead a sinner to repentance and salvation in Christ. Thus, venereal diseases we can say are the manifestation of the Devil himself, if we fall into his trap of sexual temptations, but if we work with God and do not yield to the offers of the Devil, we stay out of it and under the divine Love of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ. This is how God's love can transform a curse into a blessing! He will never use a fear mechanism to draw us to himself, but rather shower us with His love. But if we refuse and prove stubborn, then we should get ready to bear any form of consequence which will come our way.

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Cohabitation - Living Together Between An Unmarried Couple - IS This Godly?

By Funom Makama



What difference does a wedding make? Why is it okay to live together after a preacher mumbles a few words, and not before? These are sincere questions, why marriage? Who invented it? Aren't we free? Why go to the bother and spend all that time and some money on a wedding, especially when divorce is so messy and expensive if the two find they don't want to stay together?

When couples live together without being married, it is called "cohabitation" in polite language, and "shacking up" in vulgar speech. Such young people are usually alienated from their parents or tribal backgrounds. In almost all cases, they have abandoned their church. God seems far away from them, and they usually feel resentful towards Him. The reason is, they cannot forget that it was He who invented marriage and made it a life-long commitment of a man and woman to be true to each other, asking for His blessing on their union. But they hardly dare to ask His blessing on what they are doing, because they assume that He has written them off and maybe even forgotten them.

Loneliness, especially in big cities, is painful to endure. A lonely man meets a lonely woman-why not get together? Soon they start "shacking up". The almost continual propaganda of radio, TV, newspapers and magazines, has popularized this unmarried co-habitation. It seems as if somebody is masterminding a campaign to create a new culture in which standards of right or wrong have ceased to exist. A rootless modern society becomes like water: it seeks the very lowest place. Selfish gratification becomes the only ideal in life. The churches wonder what to do. They try to lead people to the higher life but they are usually preoccupied with other problems within the Church membership. There are tottering homes and divorces. Young people say, "what's the moral difference between married people divorced and then re-marrying and us living together without getting married?" They point to so many miserably unhappy marriages and use this to justify their detour around marriage. When the Church preaches "hell-fire and damnation" to those who don't get married, they just laugh it off. Some argue that a "God of love" won't be angry with them if only they 'love' each other while living together unmarried.

There are two strong reasons against this, and both are good; but one is better than the other. We can mention them both and then discuss them: Living together for either yourself, your partner, or maybe both of you; more important: It works against His plan to bless and uplift the world, and actually helps Satan in his war against God.

Your sorrow and suffering
An unmarried couple living together are not joined to each other. There is no true union. It is like a house that we built once on sand, down at the coast. A large crack developed. right throughout the house from one end to the other. We plastered up both the concrete floor and the walls. and it looked nice again. But it wasn't long until the crack reappeared and then got wider and wider. In a very few years, that house fell in ruins, because the plaster was not glued. The co-habitating couple may say they "love" each other, but they have made no mutual commitment recognized by the state, by society, by their families, or by God. They are like wooden timbers that happen to be lying together, but which are not nailed or glued together. Anything can happen to one or the other. The couple never feel secure. Even if there is no love declared or expected, one or the other or the partners will usually feel a growing sense of dependency on the other. But he/she is only leaning on a useless reed. And to cohabit together, cling each other's body without love, is to waste their precious years and their abilities in just existing, not living. There is a reason why the age-old marriage vow includes the words, "to live together after God's ordinance in holy matrimony..." not just exist! No one can live without love!

When one or the other gets tired of the private arrangement, the remaining partner can easily get hurt. And if there are children, well, poor kids, they suffer even more. They grow up under a shadowy cloud, never feeling quite like they 'belong' in this world. They cannot avoid learning sooner or later the truth that there is such a thing as marriage and that at least some marriages are happy and produce joyous, secure children. The unmarried parents cannot stop these children from becoming envious when they see this. Even if they never dare to say so out loud, in their hearts they will reproach their parents. If it were possible for some dictator to stamp out all marriage so that no one would ever run the risk of actually seeing a love-filled marriage radiating sunshine and happiness, then everybody in the world could be dragged down to the same low level. But as long as there is a Holy Spirit of God working in this dark, sin-cursed world, there will be happy marriages full of the light of heaven. So, detour around marriage, and you will always be a sad-eyes "outsider" looking in as it were on the party, wishing you hadn't been so stupid, possibly turning to drugs or liquor in order to drown your feelings of emptiness.

There were some foolish people Jesus spoke of that may illustrate this same tragedy. They could have said 'No' to temptation, but refused. They missed the joy of life. "Fling the useless servant out into the dark, the place of wailing and grinding of teeth" (Matthew 25:30). How stupid, to choose an end like this! Good as these points are, some couples reason that they don't care what may happen to themselves, or even their children. "Here's nothing going nowhere" they say, and they would just as soon commit this kind of domestic suicide. "Let us eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die" is the way that such have thought about themselves for thousands of years (1 Corinthians 15:22). The second reason for not living together unmarried is more important than any of our self-centered reasons. Here is it:

The suffering and pain that God feels
There is a great war being fought between Christ and Satan, light and darkness, good and evil. Jesus prayed for us to the Father, "As thou hast sent Me into the world, even so have I also sent them into the world" (John 17:18). Imagine what a disaster it would have been if Christ Himself had failed! Suppose that He Himself had "shacked up" with somebody and brought shame and disgrace on His Father and ruined the plan of salvation? That would have meant the triumph of Satan forever. We may say, "well, He won the battle for us, and now it doesn't matter what we do, We are not important." But this is not true. "As My Father has sent me, even so do I send you," Jesus assures us (John 20:21). Your life is to represent Him; if not, you are helping the enemy and that would make you a child of darkness. It was God who invented marriage in the beginning (Genesis 3:22-24). When the Lord God made Eve and brought her unto the man, that was when marriage began. God made them one. He did the joining together. God didn't create Eve and turn her loose to fend for herself, leaving Adam to "discover" her, so that they began shacking up in the Garden of Eden, No, God 'brought her" to Adam and married them. He was present to officiate at their wedding. We had a good beginning!

According to the Bible, both the state and the Church serve as representatives of God ever since, in licensing and solemnizing marriages. "Everyone must obey state authorities, because no authority exists without God's permission, and the existing authorities have been put there by God. Whoever opposes the existing authority opposes what God has ordered; and anyone who does so will bring judgment upon himself" (Romans 13:1-2). Christ has also established His church, " and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it" (Matthew 16:18). When a couple believe that they are for each other, and are married according to the state and/or church ordinance, it is the same as when the Lord God married Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. The clergyman (or magistrate) does not actually marry them-God does. The couple do not kneel to seek the clergyman's blessing; they kneel to ask for God's. They invite Him into their new home, and He is always kind and gracious to come and bless as they request. God has used the clergyman or the magistrate as His representative.

Every such home becomes a light in this dark world, a demonstration that Christ did not come to die in vain. Such a home brings honor and glory to Him. It is proof that the plan of salvation works and that Satan is a defeated foe. The husband and wife are actually 'soldiers' in heaven's army. They actually help in God's work. Their home is an Embassy representing the government of God. Of course, when a couple detour around this happy plan and live together without recognizing God's plan, they are left on their own. Angel guards cannot build a wall of protection around them. The best they can hope for is the best that unaided human wisdom can give. What is that? It's just the best that this dark, sinful world can offer. That's not much! When separation, bitterness, or 'forsakenness' brings inevitable agony and tears, God feels their pain also. We force Him to 'serve' with our sins (Isaiah 43:24). And His heart yearns for all the helpless children that have to suffer.

Who really wants to add to His pain?
If any unmarried couple living together read this article, let them seek God's forgiveness and guidance. God loves them, and He has already placed some servant of His, somebody who "knows the Lord," near them. Let them seek counsel from such a wise servant of God. There is no one on this earth who cannot find the way to make things right, and walk in the sunshine of God's favor. Many such couples have found a way to be rightly married, so as to enjoy peace and security. If your purpose is to honor the Lord, you will find a way to do so.

Shew me thy ways, O lord; teach me thy paths..... Remember not the sins of my youth; nor my transgressions.... Good and upright is the Lord: therefore will He teach sinners in the way. The meek will He guide in judgment: and the meek will He teach His way.... What man is he that fears [reverences] the Lord? him shall He teach in the way that He shall choose..... Mine eyes are ever toward the Lord; for He shall pluck my feet out of the net (psalm 25:4-15).

We have to ensure we do not misconstrue something very important. A true marriage with God's blessing does not have to be an expensive, proud wedding with fashionable rented clothes, candlesticks, limousines, and all the other vain paraphernalia usually associated with society weddings. It may surprise you, but the fact is that the Bible says not one word about such extravagant weddings except to condemn the pride and extravagance in them. This false idea that such is a "Christian Wedding" is one way that Satan has used to pervert the truth. People need to know that a wedding with God's blessing can be very, very simple, at almost no expense so far as He is concerned. It is never His will that forbidding social or monetary barriers be erected to discouraged careful young people from entering into holy marriage. Nothing the Lord asks for requires extravagance or going into heavy debt: "No, every one that thirsts, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price" (Isaiah 55:1). While this text is not talking about marriages as such, there may be a principle there that expresses the Lord's mind.

Many thoughtful Christian young people are turning away from the traditional kind of proud wedding, choosing instead to have a simple service of exchanging their vows in the church or whatever humble place of worship is available. Some even are now beginning to have the pastor lead them in their vows during Sabbath worship service, when the congregation are already assembled. It is all over within a few minutes. (Of course, it has been well planned in advance with the full consent of the parents, families, and the pastor, with a proper licence as may be required by the state). Let us seek the ways of the Lord, not the vain ways of the world.

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Homosexuality, Is God's Curse Upon It?

By Funom Makama



The world has become very much aware of the existence of the 'gay' segment of society, the homosexuals; men who prefer men as sexual partners, and women who prefer woman likewise. We are concerned with what the Bible says, not with what sociologists or psychiatrists say. If words mean what they say, the Bible message is clear. What does it say?

1. "God created man in His own image, male and female created He them" (Genesis 1:27). For us to be male and female is God's plan.

2. Christ upheld these principles when HE said, "have ye not read, that He which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they twain [two] shall be one flesh?" (Matthew 19:4-5).

3. God's instructions to His people Israel clearly prohibit homosexuality (Leviticus 18:22; 20:13). The punishment was death. Other sexual crimes are included, such as incest, adultery, child sacrifice to Moloch, and intercourse with beasts. That is bad company for homosexuality!

4. The Sodom and Gomorrah story clearly presents homosexuality as a sin and a crime punished with divine judgment (Genesis 19:4-11). Ever since, the words "Sodom and Gomorrah" are words of horror and revulsion. Wicked as our modern world is, there is no city or village anywhere in the world that has taken those names!

5. The apostle Paul says that homosexuality, both the inward desire and the outward practice, is "Vile affections" (Romans 1:26-28). He said of the ancient people:

Even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: and likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet. God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient (Romans 1:26-28).

He is even more emphatic in writing to the Corinthians: Do not fool yourselves; people who are immoral or who worship idols or are adulterers or homosexual perverts or who steal or are greedy or are drunkards or who slander others or are thieves- none of these will posses [inherit] God's Kingdom (1 Corinthians 6:9-10).

However, lest someone reading these words should become discouraged, let us hasten to quote what else Paul says immediately. Homosexuals can be changed and converted. The next verse says: Some of you were like that. But you have been purified from sin; you have been dedicated to God; you have been put right with God by the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God (verse 11).

A 'homosexual pervert" is one who practices this evil, yielding to his inward lust. Some thoughtful people speak of homosexual "inverts" as those who have an inward desire for people of their own sex, but who do not permit these inner desires to bear fruit in physical practice. No one knows for sure how homosexuality comes about in some people, or why they have these unnatural desires. Often it may be true that this condition is not really their fault. It is the result of evil influences brought to bear upon them perhaps in early childhood. Therefore, we must be careful not to condemn people who carry the heavy burden of this inclination. Likewise, there are people who are taught from early childhood to lie and to steal. We do not condemn them either; but we do teach the "good news" that the grace of Christ can deliver them from their compulsive habits of lying and stealing. There is a savior; He can save homosexuals, also!

A liar or thief who has found Christ the savior and believes the "good news" may still be tempted to lie or steal; but he overcomes even as Christ "overcame" (Revelation 3:21). It may be possible that a person may never completely get beyond the possibility of being tempted homosexually; but he can gain the victory. A heterosexual person (who is attracted to the opposite sex) may always be tempted to commit fornication or adultery too; but he can overcome these temptations, can't he? If not, then Christ has died in vain! Anita Bryant says, "There are examples..... of people who have been delivered after living as a homosexual for 26 years. A person can be delivered if they want to, totally delivered from being a practicing homosexual. But if is a spiritual problem". (The wittenberg Door, 1977, page 10).

Here are two testimonies from converted homosexuals:
I was a homosexual for many years. Now I am happily married to a wonderful man and have three children. I am not disillusioned; I am fulfilled because I am not the person God intended me to be. Psychotherapy may not be able to heal or release a person from homosexual orientation"- but God can! Homosexuality is a sin and must be dealt with by confession, repentance, and healing by God, followed by an ongoing and deepening relationship with Jesus Christ. It is the responsibility of Christians to love the sinners and tell them that homosexuality is a sin. and offer them hope of a different future- Patricia Sheldon, sunnyvale, California.

Homosexuality is not nice. It is violent, ruthless, and most importantly, an act that defies the word of God. I should know, I was a homosexual for eight unbearable years and it was a living hell. I finally realized that I would not get to Heaven if I continued to be a homosexual. I got down on my knees and asked God to forgive me. The I had to forgive myself. My Life has changed dramatically, bringing me the peace I was searching for. And I know 11 other reformed homosexuals who have given their lives to God- Robert Anderson, Hollywood, Florida.

There are other such examples of people who were delivered from this sinful immoral and unnatural act. God has never in any way intended it to be this way and as earlier stated, just as some thieves would claim to love stealing from the beginning, so also do these homosexuals and only the sufficient saving grace of God would be able to bring them out of this sexual slavery.

As earlier state, some claim it is a natural phenomenon which cannot be controlled. They say they grow up with it and they start feeling it inside. This is really not an excuse. Most drug addicts who started at an early age say the same thing too. Does this justify them to take drugs? The same also applies to sex addicts and all sort of 'freaks' with negative influences. We all are exposed to chances of involving in one evil practice or the other, depending on our upbringing and environment, but notwithstanding, we can contain any form of vices we are exposed to. This is where parents come into play. No matter how a child is, provided that Child is trained rightly, no matter what, he will never depart from such a training (Proverbs 22:6). He or she may deviate, but the word already planted and rooted in that child will always bring him or her back on track. So there is no excuse for becoming a homosexual and if we choose to indulge in the ungodly act, the bitter truth is simple- We are doomed for Hell. Do you want this?

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What Hope Is There for Prostitutes?

By Funom Makama



Many newspapers are full of sad stories about prostitution. The lure of pleasure, fine clothes, vehicles, eating in fine restaurants, attracts many women to the big cities. A surprisingly large number are willing to "earn" extra money by some form of prostitution, even "respectable" wives and mothers. Governments do not know what to do about the problem of ever-bigger "red light" areas.

Some totalitarian governments have succeeded in eliminating almost all visible prostitution. Many writes say that economic necessity alone is what forces women to sell their bodies. Correct the economic problems, they say, and prostitution will vanish. The same thing can be said of crime and theft. If economics were such that everybody had all that he wanted of material things, theft would stop, they say. The theory sounds good. The problem is: how can one make sure that no disasters beyond our control will create new economic necessities? Perhaps a famine will come someday. Must economic necessity be considered sufficient excuse, in the long run, for every woman to put a "for sale" sign on herself? Is the hunger for bread (or the hunger for other things) so important that we must erase from our souls the image of God? Is there no spiritual value worth dying for? The world is a vast market where Satan is selling things like pleasure, dresses, cars, houses, etc and the currency in exchange is what the Bible calls "souls of men" and women (Revelation 18:13).

If there is nothing worth dying for and everything is "for sale", if the price is high enough, then we can be sure Satan will be clever enough to manoeuvre us into some tight spot where we think that time has come; then he will buy us out. If any woman is secretly willing to sell herself providing she gets enough money, she can be sure that Satan will take charge of her sooner or later. The fault, will be her own lack of faith, and she can be sure that Satan will have no mercy whatsoever. When she renounces her loyalty to Christ, Satan takes that as the invitation to move in. What she sells is not sex, but her soul!

The Bible teaches clearly that economic necessity is not an excuse for sin. Shedrach, Meshach, and Abednego chose to be thrown into the fiery furnace rather than bow down to the king's golden image in Babylon (Daniel 3). Daniel himself chose to be thrown into the Lions' den rather than dishonor God (Daniel 5). If any woman who has felt herself driven to become a prostitute, let her get a Bible, and look up the passages cited here. Let her kneel alone in prayer and claim the savior's promise, "Him that comes to me, I will in no wise cast out" (John 6:37). The first thing she has to do is to choose to believe that promise. As soon as she believes herself to be a child of God redeemed by the blood of His son, that He died for her as if she were the only sinner in the world, she will begin to find the strength to declare her liberty in Christ. All the devils in hell cannot hold her in prostitution when she says from the depths of her heart, "I will walk at liberty; for I seek thy precepts" (Psalm 119:45).

And let us remember that prostitution is a two-way street. It could not exist if there were not men who actually create the social plague. Men and women are both alike guilty of sin. It is a highly complex modern form of slavery. In fact, many slaves in olden times were far better off than most hungry prostitutes in our modern cities. Many girls who are seduced into pre-marital sex and get pregnant find themselves sent away from school and family. Frequently they do not know how to earn a living for themselves, and get drawn into the undertow of prostitution. They excuse themselves by saying, "This is the only Job I can get!" Often such a girl's life is ruined. While it is her fault to let herself be seduced. it is also the fault of the boy who had sex with her. The girl "pays" the price of her mistake now in this life; often the boy doesn't get his "bill" until the Judgment day.

How can a prostitute who chooses to believe in Christ earn a living if she stops her lifestyle of prostitution?

God will test her faith, as must be true of all His Children; but He will not forsake her if she truly trusts Him. Millions of people can testify that this is true. A widow with a little boy told the Prophet Elijah:

By the living Lord your God, I swear that I don't have any bread. All I have is a handful of flour in a bowl and a bit of olive oil in a jar. I came here to gather some firewood to take back home and prepare what little I have for my son and me. That will be our last meal, and then we will starve to death.

The Prophet Elijah encouraged her to believe in the Lord God of Israel as a loving heavenly Father who would not forsake her:

For this is what the Lord, the God of Israel says; "The bowl will not run out of flour or the jar run out of oil before the day that I, the Lord send rain (1 Kings 17:12-14).

The Lord kept His promise to that believing woman! And He will keep His promise to any needy woman who exercises that same faith today. Further more, we can confirm this in the story of Rahab the prostitute who helped the Israelite spies enter the land of Jericho and as well get some information. This story can be found in Joshua 2. But specifically, we can concentrate on verses 8-14. Rahab went back up to her roof. The spies were still awake, so she told them; I know that the Lord has given Israel this land. Everyone shakes with fear because of you. We heard how the Lord dried up the Red Sea so you could leave Egypt. And we heard how you destroyed Sihon and Og, those two Amorite Kings east of the Jordan River. We know that the Lord your God rules heaven and earth, and we've lost our courage and our will to fight. Please promise me in the Lord's name that you will be as kind to my family as I have been to you. Do something to show that you won't let your people kill my father and mother and my brothers and sisters and their families. "Rahab", the spies answered, "if you keep quiet about what we are doing, we promise to be kind to you when the Lord gives us this land. We pray that the Lord will kill us if we don't keep our promise!"

Even as a prostitute, this time of her Life was a turning point for her. Just this little exhibition of faith In God made her story one of the finest in the Bible and it is also written in Hebrews 11:31 "Rahab had been a prostitute, but she had faith and welcomed the spies. So she wasn't killed with the people who disobeyed.

An usual ally to be used by God may be what you may think right now. But one thing is for sure, if you are for Him and not against Him, He will be for you and stand for you too. All you need do is to come to Him because He has already made the first step of sending His son to die for your sins. God was not pleased with prostitution in biblical times any more than He is now. So why did the spies stop at the house of Rahab, a known prostitute? Since the spies were seeking information, they may have felt it was a safe place to gather facts without being questioned in return. Perhaps the nature of Rahab's business made her home the only place where strangers could stay without attracting attention. Whatever the reason, the Lord knew Rahab's heart was open to Him, and he used her to help the Israelites win the Victory over Jericho. Rahab's story shows that God will help us when we want to start doing right. No matter how you have sinned in the past, God can help you if you surrender to Him.

This article cannot solve the political, economic, and social aspects of the prostitution problem; but it can bring individuals to the savior of both men and women caught in this trap of commercial immorality. And His gospel is the only sure and permanent medicine to cure this ugly disease.

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